Several years ago, my mentor at the time said to me one day, ‘you’re very masculine’.
I remember being kind of shocked, and pretty annoyed by this comment.
I went home grumbling to myself, “I dress up all the time. I’m definitely a woman. I’m pretty. I love dancing. I make beautiful art. I sing… what is he talking about?!”
Even as I went to bed, I was annoyed… but I was also smart enough to understand if a comment like this would get under my skin so much, that there was something there for me to see more clearly. So I laid in bed, irritated, but open to understanding more deeply.
As I was falling asleep, in a half-awake dream-state, I suddenly had a full body, somatic awakening around what he was pointing to - it’s impossible to describe in words accurately (which is so feminine)...
Essentially my entire body woke up to the fact that I had been more-or-less forcing my way through life. Or as I like to say, efforting. (to be distinguished from making an effort.)
In a single moment, my body woke up to how much I had been ignoring how I felt on all levels.
How much I had been living in a semi-robotic state. Hollow. Out of balance. Doing but not being.
I laid there for a while, almost as if I was truly feeling myself, my heartbeat, my breath, for the first time.
In that single moment, I viscerally realized how out of tune I was with my own nature. How much I was putting on a performance, a facade, and just ‘doing’ life by what I ‘thought’ was the ‘right’ way to live… all without really, deeply, tuning into my own self. My own inner knowing, senses and feeling.
And it wasn’t just a realization about myself.. I could feel this was an issue happening in the world at large - with humanity, and with how we treat the planet and her creatures.
For the next couple of weeks, I actually felt how utterly exhausted my body was from efforting so much, for so long. Propped up on caffeine, or ego-boosts, or pushing myself to run harder when my body really needed rest. I could hardly get anything ‘done’. I slept a lot.
Because this happened so viscerally, intuitively & somatically… I didn’t have words yet to describe what had happened.
I started googling about feminine energy.. But nearly everything that came up was around dating and relationships. That was fine, but it didn’t involve the totality of what I had experienced.
I knew it was somatic too.. So I googled that. But most of the stuff that came up was around trauma release… and it also didn’t involve the whole picture of what I felt so deeply in my body.
Then what came to mind was ‘feminine embodiment’... I googled this and found what I had been looking for. It’s clearly a small niche, but it resonated fully with what I had realized in my body.
I found a training specifically on Feminine Embodiment, which I signed up for immediately - it was a full body Yes.
Ok, so I want to pause for a moment and explain what I mean when I use the terms ‘feminine’ and ‘masculine’ here… because these words can be conflated with so much, like gender or relationship roles etc.
What happened to me was a full-body awakening that I had zero control over. It was fully intuitive, visceral, sensational - it was FELT.
When I speak of the feminine, it is from this deeper, energetic sense. The feminine is the domain of the felt senses - our emotions, feelings, sensations, intuition. The feminine is non-logical, non-linear, unstructured. The feminine is Quality of Beingness.
Whereas, from this perspective, the masculine is the domain of the Doing. Action, forward-momentum. Thinking. Logic. Structure.
In an energetic sense, our entire existence is made of both masculine & feminine. It’s everywhere, outside and within us.
We all have both energies…
And often these can get thrown out of balance for various reasons.
For myself, and I believe for much of the modern world, we have been operating far more in our masculine… thinking, moving forward, creating structure, rules, guidelines etc… without consulting with our feminine - the intuitive feeling wisdom within.
Think of it this way; you have a job, a home, a relationship, a life… that ‘checks all the boxes’ but it’s still not satisfying. Something inside you feels deeply unfulfilled. Some part of you yearns for more, for something else, for substance, for depth.
Many will double down and ‘try harder’ in their job/relationship/life etc.. or turn to food, alcohol, sex to bring a sense of ‘spirit’ into their lives… or numb out to this internal void by scrolling endlessly on social media, watching TV, video games etc.
We all see these things as normal.
But if you zoom out and take a more holistic view, you can see all of these are symptoms of a culture that is dying to FEEL more alive.
Most of my peers who’ve gone through Feminine Embodiment training primarily work with women. I’m one of the only ones who works with women and men, and this is because for me, it’s a spiritual & energetic issue that is endemic to our entire existence today.
And many of my peers who call themselves “Feminine” coaches… are often still leading from their masculine. There’s often still something hollow about what they teach. It’s still about dressing pretty, or being soft and delicate etc.
All of this is absolutely helpful and beneficial. It’s just not the full picture, from what I desire to bring into the world.
What I care about is what will make lasting change. It’s bigger than my own life.
I often say that I didn’t choose Feminine Embodiment, it clearly chose me. I had ZERO intentions, and NO clue about this work before my body jolted me awake that night to what was so out of balance in myself, and in the world.
And hopefully you can ‘see’ here, exactly how it happened to me, IS the Feminine. How it happened wasn't linear. Wasn’t logical by any means. I had to search for the words to describe what I had so deeply felt. I FELT it first.
It was deeply spiritual.
And it’s what I’m here for. To help awaken and ignite this part within you.
And, when this gets awakened, we also ‘marry’ it with the masculine within, in a much healthier and harmonious way.
And the resonance of this inner harmony naturally radiates through your presence into the world.
Embodiment is magic, and I’m here for it.
If you feel like this is how you've been 'living', and you're ready to wake up to your fuller, deeper, truer self, let's chat.
Megan is a Certified Feminine Embodiment Coach, Embodied Yoga Instructor, recovering people-pleaser and lover of nature and things that make her laugh. To have a chat about working with her privately, schedule a free consultation call here.