“Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields...
Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness.”
~Mary Oliver
What energy are you bringing to your day?
The moments between our dream state and the first blinking open of our eyes - these precious moments of coming back into conscious awareness of this world we share - too many of us discard this delicate and tender time too hastily into the past. We lose the grace imbued in this time.
We give away bits of our peace and serenity, in trade for the implicated stress and bombardment of the day that we believe awaits us. The constant fires we must put out at work, the rushing to get impudent teens to school on time, that conversation we have on loop in our head that we really need to discuss with our partner - if we’re even fortunate enough to have a job, a family or a partner to stress over.
Or we wake with despair over what we don’t have. Or longing for what we crave. Or anger and resentment for having to wake to yet another shitty day.
Too many don’t realize that we, in fact, have total power over how we embrace our day. You are choosing these states.
Sorry to be the messenger, if this is news to you (I’m not actually sorry!) - you have control in whether or not you play the victim in the story of your own life. Hopefully though, you’ve heard this in some form or another before and my saying it is just helping this truth of it sink in even deeper.
You really do have control. I promise.
Not over others. Not necessarily over what life may toss your way… but you have absolute control over how you embrace each day. Each moment. You have control over what you bring to the table.
So then, what do you choose to bring to the table?
Just as when you may go to a gathering of friends or family, do you bring something you’ve prepared with heart and soul? With insight and thoughtfulness? With presence and love? Joy? Or do you bring your glum victimhood, ready to share with anyone who will listen or just even entertain your interpretation of your own life story? Many will entertain this - because they want to also play small in their own lives.
This is not to discount when we are truly going through troubled times in our lives - we need our supportive people more than ever during these times. But learn to discern the difference between the facade of being a victim in your own life, and simply handling life circumstances that arise, with grace and humility.
This learning to discern is a nuanced skill, that may take practice. It may take time. It may take you through some confusion and uncertainty and frustration in realizing what pain you’ve caused yourself. And that’s OK. When you’ve hit these spots, you can rest in the knowing that you’re weeding out what no longer serves you.
And in this new, clear space - what will you plant? Just as when we weed our garden after having neglected it for some time - the rich and fertile soil is ripe to be seeded once again. And, if we do not choose what is planted, the garden will again be at the whim of whatever the wind blows its way.
So choose.
This is the awesome beauty of being a creator in your own life. What do you want in your garden?
If you’re not sure, meditate. If that word turns you off, just sit in contemplation. Just lay for a few moments each morning before you embrace your day. Feel yourself. Tune into that part of you, however quiet and small and hushed, and ask what its deep, soulful desire is in this life. It may take a little time to hear it - so in the meantime, you can also practice patience.
Once you hear it, once you feel it - memorize that feeling - feel its texture, weight, tenderness, fire, passion… whatever it might feel like, memorize it in your body. Embody it. Repeat, each morning, in each moment you remember to, until it is effortless.
That is the real you - that is not someone playing small in their own life. That is the real you to bring into each day; into each precious moment.
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