Your Ego is NOT The Enemy.
The word “ego” has such a variety of definitions these days, and nearly all have a negative connotation.
But if we strip it down to the true original meaning, “I” in Latin (& how Freud originally translated it, though actually rarely used in his writing), “ego” essentially means the ‘self’ where “I” witness or perceive from in existence of reality.
Going from this definition, we can develop ‘unhealthy’ ego that appears like arrogance, self-centeredness, narcissism, grandiosity etc.
We can also develop ‘healthy’ ego that may appear like self-awareness, embodied presence, compassion, empathy, kindness, healthy boundaries etc.
Or any mixture of any qualities of personality.
So then, if our ego is not the enemy, how do we develop healthy ego?
Well, a lot of our ego is essentially built from unconscious programming that we’ve inherited - from society, our family, ancestry, epigenetics etc.
When we become aware of qualities of personality we don’t necessarily want to embody, we must make choices to re-habit ourselves with qualities we DO want to embody more of.
This conscious creating of personality is especially important for those who have bought into the spiritual and psychological jargon that our ego is bad and it must be gotten rid of.
YOU EXIST.
Yes, You. Reading This.
Yes, we are also all One.. ultimately. and Yes it’s beautiful to be altruistic and compassionate and empathetic.
But if that’s ALL you are, you have LOST YOURSELF.
And this is especially challenging for women as we’ve been conditioned for millennia to prioritize the other (as it should be for mother’s of small children).
But in our modern world, we no longer need to ego-identify our existence (our worth) to perceiving and care-taking the needs of others. This is what we now pervasively view as people-pleasing, co-dependency, enmeshment etc.
It’s not abnormal. It’s not wrong.
But it is a hold-over of programming that no longer serves most of us, most of the time.
So, here is to developing healthy ego-identity as whomever your deepest heart desires you to be.
I KNOW you exist. Tell me who YOU are.
Tell me who you CHOOSE to be. Xo